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“Chugalkhors or The Gossipers”

“Chugalkhors or The Gossipers”
(Sarbjit Singh)

There is no doubt almost everyone sometime or the other in their life has participated in some kind of gossip and enjoyed it. The only time someone doesn’t enjoy gossip is when it is about her or him.

There are very few people who outrightly reject participating in gossip. As I remember, my late mother was one of them and as far as can remember, she would not allow gossip in front of her at all.There were however, some other members in the extended family who would indulge in, ‘enjoy’ and practiced this very prevalent fine ‘art’. They even gossiped about my mother behind her back. Such people never realise that they, inadvertently might be passing this ‘art’ to young impressionable children around them.

A simplistic definition of gossip would be talking about other people behind their backs and wouldn’t want the target of that slander to know about it.

When we hear that someone gossiped about us or abused us in front of someone else, the first and natural reaction is of anger and disgust against that person. We are ready to pounce upon that person at the first contact with him or her. Is it the best way to react?

To know the answer, we must try to understand who are those who are habitual gossipers and why they do what they do?

We should understand that everyone wants to be happy. Sometimes, for a person to feel good about herself or himself, she or he makes others look bad. A person who gossips about you might be carrying some bitterness towards you or is jealous of you and as that person lacks courage to face you directly, she or he starts badmouthing you in your absence. They seem to enjoy talking bad about you. In reality, however, these people are insecure, with low self esteem and many times have a feeling of worthlessness.

If we doubt our own self or lack faith in ourselves, another person’s opinion might matter to us. By letting their opinion about us matter so much, we are giving away our own power. That loss of power on the situation and not the gossiper’s slander is what makes us feel miserable.

I read a very good advice somewhere that instead of dwelling on the several people who are bad-mouthing you, start focusing on the people who love you, who are there for you and will go the extra mile for you.

“Next time you hear someone bad mouthing you, just remember that they have no other way of feeling good about themselves so they have to indulge in slander and gossip just to feel good. So allow them to have their moment of joy and you rejoice in the fact that you are important enough for them to spend time talking about you.”

It’s not worth your time confronting them. It wastes time and energy and many times might make you look ugly instead.

Amen !



2 Responses to “Chugalkhors or The Gossipers”

  1. mostly feel some insecurity,,,,females,,mostly seen involved,,but now adays,,men r also doing same business,,,hahaha,,but it is not good to react immidiatly if u heard from somebody that somebody is telling abt u this n that,,,,bcoz,,,,,,,,,,,,we hv mind na,,hahahahaaa

  2. Dear Dr. Sarbjit, you have touched a sensitive nerve. Nicely written. Excellent moral.
    Keep up the good work. Regards

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